How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
