so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
