fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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