I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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