Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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