Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
