The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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