Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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