please come you make the beer taste better
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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