Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
