We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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