Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
