I hope mine doesn't look like that
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
