BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
