He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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