thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
