i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
