no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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