I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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