I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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