IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
