I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
