Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
