when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
