Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
