I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You made out with two different species that night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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