Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
