We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
