The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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