this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
