I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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