my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
