this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it hurts more in the daytime
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
