Im at strip club and am horny
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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