omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
