I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize