Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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