Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
