yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
