He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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