think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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