I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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