You smell like a Billy Joel song
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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