I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
