I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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