this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
