My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
