yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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