hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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