we made out on top of his cat.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize