Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Randomize
