No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
