Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
