I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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