Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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