i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
