I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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